Floats on the Knuckle Head Parade
Here are a few examples of the Batshit Crazy things people do that I have to put up with on an almost nightly basis. I've held off on posting about any of this in order to let sufficient time elapse to preclude anyone thinking "Why that's me he's writing about!" If you read this and think the stupidity I'm writing about is about you then you have an overinflated sense of your own stupidity and consequently you are too stupid for me to be concerned with.
A customer walks in to the store and takes 10 minutes to decide on one, just one, only one $0.99 cent bag of sunflower seeds! That's it, that is all they get. 1o minutes, I noted the time when they came in (I was deciding whether to start breakfast or wait a little longer) and couldn't help but notice the time when they FINALLY decided what the fuck to get.
This happens all the time: It’s 4 deg F outside and people will still drive all the way to the store just to get an ICE COLD pop! WTF?
This is an everyday thing: Pre-Paying for gas. Why is this such a hassle? You pre-pay for your groceries. But gas? Is there some unwritten law, some silent code of BFE that says you shouldn't have to?? Middle-aged to elderly old white guys are my biggest source of headaches on this. Kids, not so much, unless they're driving a dual-trac 4-wheel drive pickup covered in mud (them and the truck).
On a related note there's this: You really can make more than one purchase per single visit to the store! Really, truly, you can! For example (true story - I've made up some parts but only to avoid the "He's talk'n 'bout me!" bullshit) This car pulls up to one of our gas pumps, guy and gal get out, the guy goes to the gas pump, the gal comes into the store. The guy starts to pump gas but because they haven’t prepaid I haven’t turned the pump on. The register starts to beep, which it does whenever someone takes the nozzle out of its holder. The gal blithely walks thru the store looking at all the neat shit we have. The guy continues to stand by the gas pump. I finally mention this to the gal. She blurts out “he’s getting $20 worth." I mention that I need $20 in order for him to pump that much gas. She asks “well, what do you want me to do?” I say “one of you needs to give me $20” ... silence ... she looks at me … just looks at me, as she contemplates the size of the rift in the space-time continuum that this will cause; having to make two trips to the cash register during only one visit to the store. This happens all the time, and it has never stopped pissing me off. Pay for the fucking gas and then go look at all our neat shit and pick your ass to your heart's content!
I'll have more later, but for now this'll do. I wouldn't want to overload you, that's why I haven't began to talk about, let alone, mention German Opera.
A customer walks in to the store and takes 10 minutes to decide on one, just one, only one $0.99 cent bag of sunflower seeds! That's it, that is all they get. 1o minutes, I noted the time when they came in (I was deciding whether to start breakfast or wait a little longer) and couldn't help but notice the time when they FINALLY decided what the fuck to get.
This happens all the time: It’s 4 deg F outside and people will still drive all the way to the store just to get an ICE COLD pop! WTF?
This is an everyday thing: Pre-Paying for gas. Why is this such a hassle? You pre-pay for your groceries. But gas? Is there some unwritten law, some silent code of BFE that says you shouldn't have to?? Middle-aged to elderly old white guys are my biggest source of headaches on this. Kids, not so much, unless they're driving a dual-trac 4-wheel drive pickup covered in mud (them and the truck).
On a related note there's this: You really can make more than one purchase per single visit to the store! Really, truly, you can! For example (true story - I've made up some parts but only to avoid the "He's talk'n 'bout me!" bullshit) This car pulls up to one of our gas pumps, guy and gal get out, the guy goes to the gas pump, the gal comes into the store. The guy starts to pump gas but because they haven’t prepaid I haven’t turned the pump on. The register starts to beep, which it does whenever someone takes the nozzle out of its holder. The gal blithely walks thru the store looking at all the neat shit we have. The guy continues to stand by the gas pump. I finally mention this to the gal. She blurts out “he’s getting $20 worth." I mention that I need $20 in order for him to pump that much gas. She asks “well, what do you want me to do?” I say “one of you needs to give me $20” ... silence ... she looks at me … just looks at me, as she contemplates the size of the rift in the space-time continuum that this will cause; having to make two trips to the cash register during only one visit to the store. This happens all the time, and it has never stopped pissing me off. Pay for the fucking gas and then go look at all our neat shit and pick your ass to your heart's content!
I'll have more later, but for now this'll do. I wouldn't want to overload you, that's why I haven't began to talk about, let alone, mention German Opera.
posted by Steve Mule at 11:34 AM
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